


Those Potter Kids Are Behind This, I Just Know It!

by ladyroxanne21



Series: Growing Up Potter [16]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Detention, M/M, Pranks, Prefects' Bathroom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:57:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7710673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyroxanne21/pseuds/ladyroxanne21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only three days into their first year, and already half of the Potter kids have detention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those Potter Kids Are Behind This, I Just Know It!

“A _Hufflepuff_!!!” Draco roared as he conjured a large glass vase, and then promptly flung it at the wall. It shattered with a satisfyingly loud cacophony. “How in the _ever loving hell_ did any son of _mine_ sort into Hufflepuff?!” He conjured and shattered another vase, and then continued to do so as he ranted.

Harry felt it best to just leave him to it for a bit. Meanwhile, in the other corner:

“A _Slytherin_!!!” Hermione roared, also conjuring a delicate and fragile vase and throwing it against the wall. “How in Merlin's rotting brain did a child of _mine_ end up in Slytherin?!?!” She tossed another vase, which almost drowned out the cries of:

“ _A_ _GRYFFINDOR_?!?!” Pansy wailed in between sobs of despair. “What did I do to deserve this? Is this my punishment for having a child with bloody Harry sodding Potter?!” She conjured a good dozen gigantic vases – each one with an etching of Harry on them – and then shot various destructive spells at them.

“Hey!” Harry protested indignantly.

Hermione paused to grab Harry by the shirt and shook him. “A Slytherin, Harry! How did we make a Slytherin?!”

All the while, Draco was still shouting: “A Hufflepuff! I'll have to murder myself to avoid the shame of it!”

Ron gently pried Hermione's hands off Harry and then helped him sneak out of the room. “Er, mate? I think it might be best if we just slipped away and took a bath or something until they're done.”

Susan and Hannah followed them, both purring happily. “Hufflepuffs...”

 

***

 

“Can you _please_ explain to me how you have detention _already_?!” McGonagal demanded sharply. “It's only three days into your first year!”

“ _Well_...” Pearl began since she had been the elected spokesperson. Currently, James, Hugo, Pearl, Pandora, Indira, and Sai were sitting in the Headmistress' office looking a bit shamefaced. “What happened was this. Er. Well, we were in Flying class. I'm sure you know that the Gryffindors and Slytherins have to take it together, so all the first years from our houses were there.”

“And?” McGonagal prompted crossly.

“And Hugo took one look at the broom assigned to him and stubbornly crossed his arms. Which made a few of the boys in Gryffindor try to tease him. They accused him of being afraid to fly!” The way Pearl cried this out left no doubt that she was indignant about this accusation.

“And?” McGonagal pressed.

“Well that was just not on!” Pearl roared. “So I told them to shut it, and they accused _me_ of being afraid to fly! So I grabbed the broom and prepared to show them how wrong they were, only I realized that the broom assigned to me really was atrocious! So I flung it back to the ground and that just made a couple of the Slytherins snort and call me a baby!”

Hugo took over. “So I told them to shut it, and Madam Hooch finally arrived and told us all to shut it.”

“But then Hugo refused to use the broom again,” Pearl added.

“Because that broom was about as old as my dad!” Hugo yelled in frustration.

“And that made Madam Hooch really upset, so she told Hugo to sit off to the side until she had a chance to deal with him,” Pearl continued. “So I picked up my broom and held it out to her so that I could explain that I couldn't possibly ride something so slow and decrepit.”

“And we all agreed,” the rest of them chipped in.

“And that's when she gave us all detention, but Headmistress! It's really not fair!” Pearl protested. “We weren't _trying_ to cause trouble! We just wanted better brooms! Had she just let us _explain_ that, everything would have been fine!”

McGonagal suppressed a sigh and the urge to rub her temples. “Be that as it may, in the future, you must do as your Professor tells you to. I'm afraid that you will definitely have to serve your collective detention.”

“Er, Professor?” Sai ventured a bit timidly. “Could we possibly be excused from Flying lessons permanently?”

“Why?” McGonagal asked curiously. Considering who their father was, she really thought that they'd be eager to learn to fly.

“Well, we already know how to fly and so it just seems unnecessary,” Sai pointed out with a shrug.

“Oh,” McGonagal stated. _Of course they do_ , she thought with a mental sigh. “Well, I suppose that if you don't need to learn... I'll tell Madam Hooch to test you all during your detention, and if she agrees that you know enough not to need the class, then you'll be excused. The other Potters as well.”

“Thank you, Headmistress,” Pearl said with a smile.

“Just _please_ promise me not to get into any more trouble!”

“We promise,” they all replied with grins that looked a little _too_ innocent and eager to please. She once more had an urge to rub her temples.

 

***

 

“What?” McGonagal asked with a feeling like this really shouldn't have been a surprise.

“There's a very large pig running through the corridors on the third floor,” Flitwick reiterated. “But not to worry, Hagrid is slowly gaining control of the situation with a handful of sweets.”

“It's... It's not _Teddy_ , is it?” McGonagal wondered. So far, he hadn't made any _full_ shifts into animals, but there was always a first time for everything.

“I think not, since Teddy was in Charms with me before the pig burst through the door, but I suppose there are _a few_ ways that it could be him in two places at the same time.”

McGonagal sighed, but as far as pranks went, this couldn't hold a candle to the infamous _Portkey Prank of '76. S_ o, in the grand scheme of things, this wasn't all that bad. Except, well... this was just the latest in a long string of pranks that were slowly driving her batty!

She couldn't prove anything – of course – but she strongly suspected that the Potter kids were teaming up to create chaos every chance they got. And that was the maddening thing! For the vast majority of pranks pulled at Hogwarts since she first became a Professor, she easily caught and punished the perpetrator, but _those Potter kids..._

With a sigh, she rubbed her temples. “How many days left until the end of the year?”

Flitwick chuckled. “Fifteen – not counting weekends.”

For a moment, McGonagal simply stared at him, wondering if he had just said fifteen days or fifteen years...

 

***

 

Now that it was the beginning of another year, McGonagal was determined to do her best not to let anything get to her. She honestly didn't know how Dumbledore had been able to just calmly face anything that happened for so many years as Headmaster. He had made the job look _easy_ and she well knew by now that it was anything but. Still, there were things she had done to make life just a bit smoother. But first, sorting.

The first years were all given a turn with the Hat – Daisy Dursley being sorted into Slytherin – and then McGonagal just had a few beginning of term announcements to give before they could start the feast.

“Everyone please settle down,” she called out. When it was quiet, she continued. “There have been a couple of changes this year. First of all, Professor Slughorn has retired again, and so his position as Head of Slytherin and teaching Potions class will filled by Professor Draco Potter-Malfoy.”

Most of the clapping was simply polite. The majority of the students didn't really know anything about him other than what their parents had said, and none of that seemed very interesting. Or good. Many people still could not believe that he was married to _Harry Potter_!

However, the Potter kids all cheered loudly, clapping hard and sending heart-shaped red sparks at him. Draco had to bite his lip in an effort to maintain a professional calm when he sincerely wanted to break out in a mad grin. Harry squeezed his hand for a moment before he stood and gestured for quiet once more.

“I know that it can be a bit of a mouthful to say Potter-Malfoy all the time, so you may call me Professor Malfoy, if you like. I look forward to teaching here for many years,” Draco informed everyone with a small but genuine smile.

“And finally,” McGonagal stated, tempted to sigh in relief. “Our new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and Head of Gryffindor will be Professor Harry Malfoy-Potter.”

The Potter kids – having known this was coming – were fully prepared. While all the other students were silent for a moment to decide if this was serious or some sort of rare joke by McGonagal, the Potters all set off an impressive array of fireworks. Well, colored sparks that looked like fireworks. Then they clapped and shouted: “Congratulations Daddy!” The rest of the students joined in on the cheering when they realized that it was really him.

Harry stood up, blushing and rubbing the back of his head as he determinedly did _not_ look at McGonagal. “Er, alright. Settle down. … Settle down please.” He looked to Draco, who was smirking smugly at the way the kids all ignored Harry.

Rolling his eyes, Harry took a deep breath. “I'll take five points from anyone who doesn't settle in the next five seconds!”

The great hall fell silent in surprise. No one could quite picture Harry being strict! Well, aside from his kids, who all knew that if there weren't any other adults around to do the threatening for him, their dad was not above doing it himself.

“Thank you,” Harry praised with a warm smile. “I'm pleased to be here! You may all call me Professor Potter. I hope you'll all find me a good teacher.”

After he sat back down, McGonagal smiled. “Well, since that's all, let the feast begin.”

Later on, when the feast was dismissed, and prefects were told to lead the first years to their new dorms, a lot of older students hung off to the side to see if their famous Professor was going to do anything interesting. To their disappointment, all they saw was the Potter kids, Teddy Lupin, and Daisy Dursley crowd around Harry, Draco, and Neville and chatter excitedly.

Lily absently stroked Sunshine's head in the crook of her neck as she sat on Draco's lap while Amelia sat on Harry's. Harry noticed that McGonagal was watching them with a strange expression on her face. In truth, she was having a strangely hard time believing her eyes. Harry and Draco _really were_ sitting together and getting along, and the kids all obviously loved the both of them. She'd rather thought that their family must be full of conflict with all the house rivalries the older generation had grown up with – exacerbated by the war.

When Pearl started trying to fix Harry's hair – the wildness of it a trait that they had all inherited to varying degrees – Harry saw McGonagal's lips twitch in amusement. This made him chuckle.

“Alright kids, it's time for you to go to your dorms,” Harry decided.

Since she was on his lap, Amelia hugged and kissed him first, while Lily did the same to Draco. “G'night dad.” “Good night, Draco.” The rest of the kids took turns hugging and kissing their dads and each other before separating to go to their own dorms.

“Come on,” Pandora beckoned, slinging an arm around Daisy. “We'll show you to where you'll be staying.” Hugo slipped his hand into hers and gave her a smirk. “Slytherin House is so much fun!”

“It's the best house in Hogwarts,” Draco added with a tiny smile.

Daisy returned his smile, waved at them, and then left with her cousins.

McGonagal and Hagrid came over to talk to Harry. Hagrid hugged him and boomed out: “A fine job you've done with those kids!”

“Thanks,” Harry murmured with a proud grin.

“I'm surprised that they get along so well!” McGonagal added.

“Why wouldn't they?” Draco wondered curiously.

“ _Oh_... just that they seem to be immune from the typical House rivalries that everyone else has succumbed to,” McGonagal stated with a smile and a shrug. “Each morning, whichever of them arrives first sits at their House table, and then the rest of them sit there too. It's not forbidden or even uncommon for students to sit with friends of other Houses, but it _is_ unusual for so many of them to do so every morning. Actually, _every meal_.”

The only reason they hadn't for the feast was because of the sorting ritual and being required to be at their own tables for it.

Draco seemingly changed the subject. “Have you seen any of them play Quidditch yet?”

This confused McGonagal. “Er, no. Why?”

“Their little bit of rivalry comes out then,” he answered with a fond smile.

Harry slipped his hand into Draco's. “I don't know about you, but I still have to figure out what I'm going to say in my first class tomorrow.”

“Plus, we should probably try to get a good night's sleep,” Draco murmured with a smile that held a very tiny suggestive hint to it.

“Yes we should!” Harry agreed eagerly. “Excuse us Professors.”

McGonagal and Hagrid exchanged a slightly baffled look as they watched the two men walk toward the exit of the hall holding hands. Hagrid chuckled. “I remember a time when the two of them couldn't be in the same room without arguing!”

By this point, the hall had cleared of everyone else – except Flitwick might be doing some charms over in the corner. He was so tiny that it was sometimes hard to see him in the shadows. Just as Draco and Harry neared the exit, Harry roared.

“How should I know why they gave me fireworks?!”

“You're trying to tell me that you didn't put them up to it?” Draco demanded, crossing his arms and glaring at Harry.

“No! You know I don't like embarrassing things like that!” Harry protested.

“So you say, but I noticed that you looked very proud of them,” Draco pointed out.

“Well of course I was proud of them! It was rather impressive for second years!” Harry cried out, frustrated that Draco seemed to be mad at him.

“You always let them get away with murder! You should have docked points from each and every one of them,” Draco pointed out.

“Wait a minute, I didn't see _you_ docking points when they sent red hearts at you,” Harry rebutted.

“Well of course not! That was freakin' adorable!” Draco insisted, gesturing emphatically to illustrate his point.

“Er, gentlemen?” McGonagal interrupted since they were blocking her way. “None of the kids did anything wrong. Colored sparks aren't against the rules.”

Draco sent her a half glare since she was interrupting them, but Harry unintendedly ignored her as he chuckled. “The look on your face was adorable.”

Draco flushed and abruptly walked away. “No need to get nauseating again!”

Harry rushed after him, deciding to wind him up. “You know what will be even more adorable? If your and Pansy's son gets sorted into Hufflepuff too!”

“Don't you _dare_ suggest that!” Draco turned to him in horror.

“We'll find out next year, won't we,” Harry teased. “Little Hunter Parkinson-Malfoy: Hufflepuff!”

“I will hex your tongue to your arse if you say that again, and then I'll owl Pans and invite _her_ to come hex you all she wants!” Draco threatened.

Harry laughed, then he changed the subject. “I'm still surprised that Albus wasn't sorted to Ravenclaw with Scorpius.”

Draco pulled one of Harry's arms around his shoulder. “Well, at least one good thing came of it.”

Harry pressed a kiss to Draco's temple. “Yeah?”

Draco chuckled. “When I told the news to my father, he nearly died! I had to administer a heart strengthening potion and call in Pansy to attend to him.” Since this had only happened recently – Draco having stalled as long as possible before telling his father – Harry hadn't heard about it yet.

Harry laughed heartily at that. “I wonder what would have happened had we simply printed it in the Daily Prophet and let him find out that way?”

“I am fairly sure my father would have sent Hit-Wizards after me if I let him find out that way,” Draco drawled in amusement.

Hagrid and McGonagal couldn't help but listen to them as they walked away. Hagrid chuckled and shook his head since they were now too far away to hear. “About half of that conversation reminded me of their school days.”

McGonagal smiled at him. “I don't think I'll ever get used to them being married.”

They said goodnight and went their separate ways. Meanwhile, Harry and Draco found that they couldn't wait to return to their new quarters. Harry pushed Draco up against a wall and snogged him possessively.

“Salazar! I feel like I'm in Fourth Year again!” Draco exclaimed when they broke free for a moment.

This reminded Harry of something that made him frown. “Er... You _do_ plan to make sure that none of our kids find themselves in the same situation as you toward the end of your Third Year... right?”

Draco sighed. “I'll do what I can, but I'm rather hoping that since none of our kids are ever truly alone, they won't be ganged up on like that.”

“That's a good point,” Harry stated with a grin. He resumed kissing his husband.

“Ahem!” A portrait interrupted them loudly. “Do you mind?! If you're going to act like students, _at least_ hide in an alcove!”

They both laughed at that. “Sorry,” Harry apologized to the portrait. Hand in hand, they finished walking to the large apartment they shared.

Since they were Professors and married, they'd been given staff quarters to share. Since this was a school made of and for magic, it was very easy to adjust the size and shape of the apartment to suit their needs. Thus, they soon entered something that looked almost exactly like all their favorite parts of home. Especially their spacious bedroom!

They fell onto their bed in a messy tangle. Harry's very real need to prepare for tomorrow completely forgotten. They weren't in the mood to take their time, so Draco simply magicked their clothes off while Harry cast the spells to prepare himself.

And then they were grinding together almost frantically. Draco banged into Harry just right to have him close in a matter of minutes. Harry pulled on Draco's hair, roughly snogging him once more. Which made them both lose all control.

Afterward, Draco lay on top of Harry, both of them panting and wonderfully sated. “I love you,” Harry murmured in Draco's ear.

“I love you too,” Draco whispered in return, snuggling into his husband.

“We're definitely going to need a shower in the morning!” Harry remarked with a grin.

Draco merely grinned in response to that, his eyes closed and sleep more than halfway upon him.

 

***

 

Daisy giggled as Indira and Pandora dragged her along the fifth floor corridors. “Why did we have to leave breakfast so early if we don't have class yet?”

“Breakfast always starts at 7:30 sharp,” Indira informed her. “And as you may have noticed, most of the students don't want to get up that early.”

“Neither do we, if we're honest,” Pandora added. Behind them, Hugo grumbled in agreement.

“So... then why did we?” Daisy asked, consumed by curiosity.

“Because if we all eat quickly, we have plenty of time for...” Pandora trailed of with a tone of someone who had a secret. She waved her arms before her as if modeling an expensive piece of merchandise. “Dah-dah-dah!”

Hugo whispered something to a statue of a confused looking man, and then a door opened. The four of them piled in. Daisy looked around in happy awe.

“About time you got here!” Teddy called out with a welcoming grin. “We were almost about to start the meeting without you!”

“What is this place?” Daisy asked, her eyes still wide as she looked around. It looked a bit like the bathroom back in Grimmauld Place – only it also looked sort of like a bathroom one might find in a public place. And by that, there were stalls off to one side, looking like a public loo, and then there was an enormous tub off to the other side that almost looked like a swimming pool.

“This is the Prefects' Bathroom,” Scorpius explained.

“We're not technically allowed to use it,” Albus added.

“Then why are we here?” Daisy wondered.

Hugo laughed and slung an arm around her. “I overheard one of the Slytherin Prefects brag about this place, and then offered to bribe him to give me the password. As it turns out, he puts a high price on it – and the password changes every so often and I have to bribe him all over again.”

“Where do you get the money?” Daisy questioned.

“Al, Scorp, and James,” Hugo stated. “They get a huge allowance compared to us.”

“But we share,” Albus informed her with a smile. “ _Especially_ when it comes to things that benefit all of us, such as this.”

James gestured around. “Literally _no one_ ever comes here this time of day, so that makes it the perfect time to get together and have a family meeting.”

“That makes sense,” Daisy agreed with a smirk. She then copied Indira and Pandora by stripping off and slipping into the tub. Hugo detoured by one of the stalls for a moment first, but then joined his family in the bath.

“So... first order of business,” Teddy began. “How are we going to top that pig from last year?”

Lily waved her hand to get their attention. “Mum told me how uncle George and his twin once set of a bunch of _real_ fireworks in the school. One of which was made like a dragon that flew around trying to bite people!”

“Excellent suggestion!” Scorpius agreed.

“Wait!” Rose insisted. “We just did fireworks in front of everyone in the great hall. If we do something similar so soon, it might be really obvious who's behind it.”

“Darn! You're right!” Scorpius growled unhappily.

“We could cast a bunch of timed Aguamentis to go off when students will be in the halls between classes,” Sai suggested.

“Didn't we do that last year?” Pearl inquired.

“No, we charmed the door to our Potions Class to release a bucketful of water whenever someone walked under it,” Rose reminded her.

“We could change the water to mud,” Sai added. “Have mud literally flung about the halls at students!” He grinned with deep amusement at this mental image.

“No wait!” James cried out hastily, waving his hands back and forth. “ _Dad's_ here this year! He _knows_ we know how to cast mudslinging charms!”

“Oh for the love of Merlin!” Indira cried out. “This is going to make these pranks so much harder to pull off!”

“Poppies!” Daisy gasped out excitedly.

“What?” Pandora asked in confusion.

“In the Wizard of Oz, there's a scene in which Dorothy is trying to get to the Emerald City, and she walks through a field of poppies that put her to sleep!”

“Oh!” Rose cried out in understanding. “We conjure up or transfigure a bunch of poppies for all our classrooms, and then spell them to put everyone to sleep!”

“That's brilliant!” Everyone cheered, some patting Daisy on the back. Teddy hugged her briefly and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Which brings us to our second order of business,” Teddy abruptly moved on. “Quidditch. Do we want to try out for the teams this year?”

“That might not be fair to Daisy,” Indira pointed out.

“No, it's fine,” Daisy assured them. “I'm just so happy to be here this year that I don't care that I can't play yet.”

“Well, if you sure...” Indira trailed off uncertainly.

“I'm sure,” Daisy confirmed.

“That's settled!” Teddy stated with a grin. “We try out!” They all raised a fist and cheered to that.

“And now that we can have brooms,” James added. “I vote that we find a time when the Quidditch Pitch is open and just play like we used to. It'll be perfect for extra practice.”

“I snuck Daisy's broom in with mine,” Lily informed them. “That way, she's not stuck trying to wrangle one of the old beasts here.”

“Here's a tip,” Amelia said as she slung an arm around Daisy's shoulder. “Don't refuse to use those horrid brooms in Flying Class, or you'll be given detention. If you're interested, go to Madam Hooch today after your classes let out but before dinner. Tell her that you already know how to fly and want her to test you. If you pass –”

“You'll pass!” Lily assured her.

“You won't have to take Flying Class,” Amelia finished.

“Good to know,” Daisy stated with a smile.

Sai laughed. “The rest of the students think that we caused so much trouble that we got kicked out! They don't think we know how to fly!”

“I bet that they groan when we show up for Quidditch tryouts!” Remus theorized. This made everyone laugh.

“Alright, so, any more business before we have to get ready for class?” Teddy asked.

“Nope,” Pandora stated.

“Then I declare this meeting adjourned!” Rose called out, provoking cheers from all of them. She then set an alarm charm on her wand to alert them when they only had fifteen minutes left until class. After that, she started the traditional water fight.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I referenced a fanfic I read that made me laugh because it just seemed appropriate, lol! For anyone interested, here's a Link to the Portkey Prank of '76: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3709403
> 
> Secondly, while I don't want this to turn into a series of silly pranks, I actually *do* need some ideas for this that the Potter kids could potentially do because, well, they're *Potter kids* lol!  
> So please let me know of any prank or other naughty behavior you can think of that would be perfect for these kids. Bonus if you can also tell me how they don't get caught, lol! Lastly, the kids don't have access to the invisibility cloak or the Marauders' Map because Harry was going to wait until at least their third year to give those to them, but now he's a Professor and is not likely to do so, lol!


End file.
